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12 years.
so this is what 12 years looks like:
photo cred: chad doerksen
i never really pictured the 12 year anniversary. it’s not one of the numbers that stands out as significant or is addressed in pre-marital counseling. there’s no “itch” attached to it and no huge milestone celebration. but something about 12 was different for me. i sat in church sunday morning and was suddenly overwhelmed with gratefulness for 12. you see, cliff and i didn’t think we would make it past 1. we didn’t get that glorious first year that some newlyweds rave about. or second year. or third…you get the point. so being here at 12 is a big deal.
marriage is hard. it’s an everyday choice to…fill in the blank. care. love. listen. stop. serve. forgive.
being in the thick of wedding season has given me even more opportunity to think about what that commitment these couples are making actually means. and if i could say anything to each of them it would be that it is worth it. whether the storm comes tomorrow or 10 years from now, your marriage is worth fighting for. it’s worth those times when you say you’re sorry even if you’re not at fault. it’s worth picking up the socks and throwing them in the laundry for the tenth time this week instead of harping on him to do it. it’s worth listening to the same story she’s told you about that great aunt you’ve never met and never will meet for the third time without rolling your eyes. and it’s worth fighting for through the big stuff too. through lies and deep hurts and life change. i pray for every one of these couples as i drive to their wedding…that they would know that love and commitment is about so much more than this one day. and that as they walk through the tough stuff, there is such great reward waiting for them.
what kind of reward, you may ask? well, here’s what does 12 looks like for us: i worked on friday while cliff watched the kids and got home at midnight after a late reception. cliff let me sleep in until 8 on saturday morning while he fed the kids breakfast, i ironed our clothes and we headed out to a wedding for the afternoon and evening (that’s what “dates” look like at this stage of life). on sunday as a special treat to ourselves, we let the kids watch a movie before church so we could have an hour of peace. went to church, had cheeseburgers in the park, played in the backyard all afternoon, had farmer sausage for supper and watched an episode from the first season of wonder woman after the kids went to bed. glamorous? not even close. but how incredible is it that i get to live this un-glamorous life beside the man who has seen it all. all my crap, all my mood swings, all of the worst. the fact that he chooses everyday to be with me…to serve/give/listen/etc speaks love to me louder than words ever could. and we have three beautiful children who drive us absolutely crazy while filling our lives with so much joy. i am so so so blessed.
on your next anniversary, would you take a minute to savor it and then drop me a line and tell me about it? i’d love that. here’s to celebrating every year like it’s 12 🙂
This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 9th, 2011 at 5:04 am and is filed under my family.
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15 Comments to “12 years.”
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Sharalee, I can’t imagine my life without you and Cliff. Your kids obviously always make me smile and are completely fabulous to be around, but I think this post really made me think about just you and Cliff. I know we don’t really see each other much anymore (which I think should change, just FYI), but you have both just loved me and been there for me when I really needed it most – even if you didn’t realize you were. I just can’t fathom my life without the two of you in it….I certainly wouldn’t laugh as much for one 🙂 Loves <3
Thank you Sharalee. And well done, 12 years! I’ll send you a note on our 1st anniversary for sure. xo
Hey, this is Hanna, we sat across each other at J&J’s wedding reception. I really like your work, it’s got a great feel, and thank you for this blog post, it is really inspiring and I got a little ‘misty’ reading it – I feel the same way about my own marriage. thanks for the reminder to be thankful. Blessings in all your endeavours and here’s hoping we run into you and your family again
Sharalee and Cliff, we (B&T) have so much respect for your marriage. Thank you for your encouraging post. I hope that we are able to take in our next anniversary (most likely as “glamorous” as your was) with such mindful gratitude.
Happy Anniversary! Great post and cute picture of you guys… I miss you.
you…
[…] 12 years. […]
It is very humbling to be married to a fellow who has the good, the bad and the ugly…and still thinks I’m the hottest thing on this earth…21 years in September….Yay Brian!
Laura
Beautiful Sharalee. Thank you for sharing. (and so very true..) xo
We just celebrated 15 in July…totally agree with all you said. We were so happy when we got married. We were a little older so the fact that God led us to each other made the day all that much sweeter. Our children have added to that delight. The things we thought were cute at the beginning are REALLY annoying now and yet we could not imagine being anywhere else or with anyone else. We are so thankful for the past 15 years and all we have gone through together. We are really enjoying the stage our family is in today. And we are so looking forward to how God will lead us in the years to come. Happy Anniversary to you both. Thanks for the reminder that life is good!
Wonderful post Sharalee. Marriage, as time goes on, can be so beautiful. Beautiful because it sees the ugly, and keeps on going, and growing stronger. Happy 12 years!!!You guys are a very blessed family!
Wow, Sharalee! Well said! Thanks for being an advocate for marriage! Happy 12th Anniversary! We love you guys!
Love this! Thanks, and congratulations on your 12th anniversary.
What a beautiful blog post! Congratulations on your 12th Anniversary, Cliff and Sharalee!
I love your thoughts on marriage, and particularly how you pray for each couple – that’s a wonderful thing that is a blessing on them!
Wishing you a wonderful marriage onward!
That is a tear jerking entry, Sharalee.
Cheers and congratulations on your 12 years!